Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
