Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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