the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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