3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
