I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
