As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
