I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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