so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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