update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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