I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize