You work out of a Hotel?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
