we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
They took my balls.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
