i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
