Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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