On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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