One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
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