imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
