Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
