none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He did a backflip because drugs
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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