how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
