just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
