I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
