So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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