ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize
