That's intense
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
