margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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