i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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