They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
