She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
