I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
