Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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