He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
