dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
