I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
