I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
