Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
