What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
