Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
