I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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