Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
