I only kidnapped one of them. chill
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
