shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
