you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm experimenting with sincerity
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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