I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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