Swine flu. Run for my life!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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