this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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