where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
