either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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