he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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