remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
